TWICE‘s leader Jihyo opened up about her struggles with self-esteem, touching the hearts of many fans.
On July 1st, a video featuring Jihyo in “My Private Art Museum” was uploaded on the YouTube channel “14F Il Sa F.”
In the video, Jihyo talked about her debut after 11 years as a trainee. She said, “We cried in the waiting room with the members. I especially remember crying a lot with Nayeon and Jeongyeon, as we had been trainees for a long time.”
She shared, “I was a trainee for so long, with many ups and downs. I even ran away from home and stopped going to the company, thinking, ‘Maybe this isn’t the right job for me.’ I gained a lot of weight during that time. Eventually, the company suggested I appear on Mnet’s ‘SIXTEEN’ (2015), which led to my debut. It felt like I had finally reached my goal after 11 years.”
When asked why she chose TWICE’s hit song “Feel Special” as the theme, she explained, “Since it will be my 10th anniversary next year and I spent 11 years as a trainee, I thought it would be nice to look back at my shining moments.”
Jihyo wanted to discuss self-esteem, saying, “Since my job requires constant evaluation, I always think a lot about self-esteem.”
When asked if she ever felt her self-esteem drop, she replied, “During my trainee days and the first 8-9 years after debut, I had low self-esteem. I was constantly being evaluated and told to fix things, so I began to only see my flaws. Even when looking in the mirror, I thought, ‘This isn’t pretty, how can I make it pretty?’ Watching monitors, I would think, ‘Why am I dancing like that? Why am I singing like this?’ I evaluated myself like others did.”
One day, she looked in the mirror and thought, “Why do I hate myself? I need to love myself to be loved by others.” She started saying out loud, “I love you, Jihyo,” before going to bed. At first, it felt awkward, but doing it daily helped her genuinely love herself. She began to find positive aspects when watching monitors and turned her traits into strengths.
She shared, “I realized that what’s inside is more important than what’s outside. Focusing too much on appearances can lead to missing out on understanding who I am. Instead, I filled myself with things I love, which made me feel less critical of myself and more loving.”
When asked how she protected herself from others’ views, she admitted, “I got hurt a lot and couldn’t avoid seeing malicious comments. These comments made me feel inadequate. When I realized the importance of self-esteem, I focused on nurturing myself. I engaged in hobbies I enjoyed, met friends, ate good food, and cherished every day. I became so busy with my own life that others’ opinions no longer mattered. I didn’t have time to care about others’ views. It wasn’t about thinking, ‘I’ll do this instead,’ but more about realizing, ‘I need to live for myself.'”
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